Friday, February 19, 2010

Daddy Dont Go

I am finally here typing this post after 6 months of my new sunconian life and after 2 months since my father left us forever. I am writing again with a deep sorrow in my heart that only God knows why. Perhaps the cure is with Him, for everyone actually. .

Few months back I thought to myself there are not much space left for sadness in my heart, it was all full with love and care from everyone, all the family members are there, sharing good and bad things together. my new job was a bit busy though with the fact of working on saturday that really bugs me. That was not for long.. God knows the best for us.

When my daddy whom I shared with 8 other siblings, departed peacefully on that Wednesday morning, that was a big turning point of everything, for everyone perhaps. He choose to sleep alone that night, he told my mom to wake up early the next day, he was about to speak to me about our car problem, thru the phone, but I was so sleepy, sleeping as I sat on the chair in my brothers ward,(he was at the hospital after apendix operation on Tuesday.) I heard his voice talking to my brother, after that the line was off. I didn't know that he wanted to talk to me. I should have called. Our last conversation on 13th Dec, my last cup of tea for him was on 12th Dec, as well as some fried rice, and lastly we also shared some nasi minyak at my cousin wedding that day.

He left us all on 16th Dec, around 6.00am, alone in his sleep. The call that I got from my brother that Wed morning was indeed like a bomb in my heart, like a slab that fall on my head, and it was indeed a very very sad fact to deal with until now.

Now as much as we try to live our normal life back, I believe all of us especially my mom would always feel that we have just had the biggest misery in our family history. My daddy was merely human with some mistake and makeover through his life. But he tought us not to give up at any point, and always look at the bright side of everything that happen in life. Even when he was sick and we were worry he said. "Mati ni tak boleh takut, kita mesti redha.."

He told us to always forgive and forget for a peace at heart. He influence us with his music, "I've been playing guitar for the past 30 years, you can't challenge me yet! He told my brothers."
He used to listen to Klassic FM in the car and Radio Johor for keroncong songs. But he was a versatile singer as his favourite was, Bee Gees, Broery Marantika, M. Nasir (his resemblence), Carpenters, Sheila Majid, and many more.

When was out of the hospital on 6th Dec 09, he told us to be careful as he has been suffering for heart and lung problem, it could be inherited to us as well. I used to buy him medicine every months. Going to the hospital is a big bugs for him, and the only time he finally agree to go to the hospital was on 2nd Dec 09.

Now that he left I can still hear him singing and reciting Quran in his room every morning and dawn. He seems to have such a huge impact in my life, I still do feel like sharing things at my work with him, discuss on family matters and sharing good food and recepies. Just like I hope he read this post some way.
Al Fatihah for my Daddy Shariffuddin Shafie 16.6.1957-16.12.2009

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